Oftentimes, when referring to description, we hear the
phrase “word pictures”. Personally, I’m not a fan of these so called word
pictures. The problem with painting word pictures is that a picture is very two
dimensional. You can’t hear the birds chirping in the snapshot of Aunt Margie’s
party, nor can you smell the burgers burning on the grill dad forgot to flip
again. Word pictures only tell you
what you’re seeing.
I prefer to create word experiences.
When you step into my story, you’re not walking into a museum, hundreds of
years removed from the events being depicted, no sir. I bring you into a time
machine and bring you to the Civil War, not just lecture to you about it and
show you some pictures and soldier’s uniforms. Let’s take an example. The first
one is a word picture.
Bruce strode into the
parlor, and Jack was just behind him. Jack shut the door behind them. Bruce
stared in awe at the massive room before them. A statue of Jack’s great
grandfather stood front and center, reaching towards the ceiling with one hand,
and a sword pointed casually towards the ground in the other. Every wall was
covered floor to ceiling in paintings, photos, and awards honoring the late
Captain Archibald Smith.
Bruce inched towards
the statue and stepped onto the thick, plush carpet, which covered every inch of
the floor, as well as the two spiral staircases on either side of the imposing
statue. Several small tables leaned against the walls, and upon each one stood
an ornate crystal vase filled with roses, carnations, and tiger lilies. A
chandelier, whose splendor went unparalleled, coruscated as it hung from the
wood paneled ceiling. So many doors were there in the room that Bruce felt he
could spend days exploring the house.
Yes, perhaps that was an extreme example of a word picture,
and I daresay most people would not go that far, but it gives you an idea of
how many writers think they are supposed
to write. Now most people do not care about all of those ridiculous details,
and much prefer if you note a couple of key details instead of rambling on
about the cracks in the walls and crumbs on the floor beside the bobby pin
which fell from Jane’s head. Here is an example of a word experience:
Bruce strode into the
massive parlor with Jack at his heels. Before them stood a statue of Jack’s
great grandfather, whose one arm reached for the chandelier on the ceiling, and
whose other casually held a sword. Entranced by the statue, Bruce ran his
fingers along the side of the figure. It was as smooth as marble and flawlessly
sculpted.
Then Bruce heard the
clattering of pots and pans in the other room, followed by the warm smell of
boiling potatoes and freshly baked cinnamon buns. Jack’s mother called them for
dinner, and the two boys headed for the door between the two spiral staircases.
Sure, I could have spent more time, thought of better
similes or more appropriate descriptors, but that’s not the point. The point
is, not only is the second scene shorter, but more events occur, and it’s more
specific. No one cares about the wood panels, the portraits, the tables, vases,
etc. Pick one, maybe two key things and focus on them. In these scene, Bruce
notices the statue, and so that is the focus of the scene. Also, I bring in
smell, hearing, and Bruce touches the statue. In this way, you’re experiencing what Bruce experiences, not
studying the photo someone took of Jack’s parlor.
If you only get two things from this article, it should be
this:
1. Focus
on specific, weird details instead of pointing out the innumerable obvious
details.
2. Sight
should be last on the list when it comes to description.
Don’t agree with me? Have something to contribute? Please
comment below. I’d love to hear from fellow writers or aspiring writers, or
anyone who’s interested in this topic.
No comments:
Post a Comment